Old Man Joke
A 92 year old man goes into a confessional and tell the priest about his recent road trip. He told how he picked up two hitchhikers -- college girls. After a while they decided to go to a motel. He had sex three times with each of them.
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Old man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of catholic are you??!!"
Old man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Then why are you telling me?"
Old man: "Hey!! I'm telling everybody."
Two Jokes
#1:
One day a blonde was putting a puzzle together. She worked on it all day and had no luck. When her husband came on from work, she asked for his assistance.
"It's suppose to be a tiger," she said.
He glanced at the box and then said sadly, "Honey, put the cereal back in the box."
#2:
The young hooker reports for her first day at the brothel.
The madam says to her,
"Do you have any questions?"
The hooker replies, " Yes, I was wondering how long penises should be sucked?"
The madam says, "The same as the short ones."
Top Ten George W. Bush New Year's Resolutions
From the "Late Show with David Letterman"
10. Fewer decisions based on wild, drunken hunches
9. Have N.S.A. find out what really happened between Nick and Jessica
8. Stop using Situation Room monitors to play X-Box 360
7. More C-SPAN, less "Yes, Dear"
6. Team up with leading scientists to make Cheetos even cheesier
5. To capture and bring to justice King Kong
4. Beat the twins at beer pong
3. Respond to reporters questions with, "Bitch, don't go there"
2. Scale back on grueling 12-hour work week
1. "Who needs resolutons? Everything is fine"
