Actual things cops have said!!!
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.""If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!"
"Just how big were those two beers?"
" So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? .. You're right, we don't. ... Sign here."
shered by Painter Lady @ Friday, October 21, 2005
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